The Potential of Talking and the Challenge of Listening
by Adam Kahane
Excerpted from The Systems Thinker newsletter, Volume 10, No. 10.

Four Ways of Talking and Listening
In 2000 a group of researchers from the Society for Organizational Learning interviewed members of Visión Guatemala [a large multistakeholder team that had had a significant positive impact on post- civil war restoration efforts], to try to pinpoint exactly what happened in their group to allow them to do such extraordinary work in such a highly complex system. The answer the researchers arrived at has to do with the way this group, over the course of their involvement together, progressed in the way they were talking and listening.

Downloading. In the chart " Four Ways of Talking and Listening" based on the work of Otto Scharmer of MIT, there are four quadrants. According to the researchers' observations, the Visión Guatemala group started their conversations in downloading. This is supported by an interview with Elena Díez Pinto, the leader of the group. She said, "When I arrived at the hotel for lunch before the start of the initial meeting, the first thing I noticed was that the indigenous people were sitting together, the military guys were sitting together, the human rights group was sitting together. I thought, 'They are never going to speak to each other.' In Guatemala we have learned to be very polite to each other. We are so polite that we say 'yes' but think 'no.' I was worried that we would be so polite that the real issues would never emerge."

This first type of talking and listening is called downloading, because we merely repeat the story that's already in our heads, like downloading a file from the Internet without making any change to it. I say what I always say or what I think is appropriate, such as "How are you? I'm fine," because I'm afraid that if I say what I'm really thinking, something terrible will happen, for instance, I'll be embarrassed or even killed. Listening in downloading mode is not listening at all. I am only hearing the tape in my own head.

Debating. The second kind of talking and listening is called debating. A wonderful example of this process occurred in Visión Guatemala's first workshop. One of the interviewees said, "The first round in the first session was extremely negative, because we were all looking back to the events of recent years, which had left a deep imprint on us. Thus a first moment full of pessimism was generated. Suddenly a young man stood up and questioned our pessimism in a very direct manner. This moment marked the beginning of a very important change, and we continually referred to it afterward. That a young man would suddenly call us 'old pessimists' was an important contribution." This was debating in the sense that the young man was saying what he really thought, which is what happens when people make the transition from downloading to debating. A clash of arguments occurs; ideas are put forward and judged objectively as in a courtroom.

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All around the world, people are stepping forward in new ways to provide leadership. In many cases, they are not the people in positions of power in organizations or communities; they are simply those who see what must be done and are willing to speak and then to act. Often, as they begin to step forward, their hearts are pounding with fear, but they believe the time has come to offer a new possibility for the future.

Where do these leaders come from? What gives them the courage to speak up? What capacities and practices, if cultivated, support people in developing their own leadership?

Over the past several years, I've worked with a number of younger leaders involved in community initiatives in many parts of the world. They practice a kind of leadership that comes from mind, heart, and spirit and provides a foundation for effective action in the world. I've come to call this approach "enspirited leadership."

I have identified six key landmarks for enspirited leaders:

• They work from a sense of true calling.
• They journey in the company of others.
• They live with a spiritual center.
• They demand diversity.
• Reflective learning guides their lives.
• Their work is filled with ambiguity and uncertainty.

These pioneering leaders have stepped into their work because of a strong sense of calling, rather than through a methodical, strategic decision-making process. In many ways, life leads them to their work. And, of course, their work then leads them to their life.